I recently read that there isn’t one person in this world that sees the true you. Everyone has a different viewpoint based on how they know you or where they see you. It is literally impossible to know the true you that only you know. Because only you yourself have the full and entire picture of you. That is a frightening thought to me at times. That I never know what others are thinking and they can have the whole thing wrong!!
Only I know:
The countless times I’ve cried behind a shower curtain
The mornings where I didn’t want to get out of bed
The various traumas I endured in my late teen years
The thoughts I have at 3 am
The prayers I’ve prayed
The insecurity I’ve had
The doubts
The fears
And also:
The joys
The victories
The overcoming
Believe me, I don’t think I know it all or think everyone should listen to me.
Many years ago when I started writing it was merely an online journal. For friends and family. And it evolved over the years to a more public audience and now a full-blown ministry. Yet, I never post something with the idea to gain followers or attract an audience. I can’t explain it but I get these thoughts- so many of them throughout the day, that I have a running list in my “notes” on my phone to jot them down in the moment- and when I can’t shake one or I just feel like someone needs to hear it, I write. Or I record. Or I share in some way.
I record video devotionals on YouTube each morning. Not because I think I have so much to say and everyone needs to hear it. I ask the Lord to guide me and He has each and every time. And considering I have a tiny following in the YouTube world, I certainly don’t do it for that. I do it for the one woman who wrote me and says she waits for those posts each day because they encourage her. Or the lady who tells me it was just what she needed to hear at the exact time. Because when we try to change things to appeal to a broader audience we lose our message. But when the agenda is simply to follow God’s leading, the rest takes care of itself. Oftentimes, following God has taken me completely out of my comfort zone and onto a plane to go and share the message He has given me.
So who do I think I am? A follower of God. I mess up all the time. I’m unsure of myself most days. I’m not trying to win accolades but to win souls. I look at the online world and it’s all about numbers and popularity and marketing and sales. And I feel out of place. My metrics are based on hearing someone turned to their Word instead of the world. Someone prayed today who had previously turned from God. Someone heard about the freedom and joy in following Jesus for the first time. Most mostly I do it because He leads me to. It would be easier to not put myself out there. But then I realize it’s not myself, it’s Him I want to put out there.
I have fun getting to know others. I enjoy the connections. I do want you to get a glimpse of the real me. But I realize you may not. And that’s ok. I am who I am because of God. And that’s Who I want you to see in me.
So who do you think YOU are? The world will have you chasing after the idea of “finding yourself.” Being “true to yourself.” Guess what? Be true to yourself and know who you really are: You are made by God. For God. For His purposes. Nothing can ever change that. You can’t ever change that identity. You were created by our great God. What an amazing thought!
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