This is such a hard post to write and one that I have been composing in my mind for days. Not just because it is sad, but because it has been a time of confusion between God and me and that is not an easy place to be. Yet, sometimes God needs to teach us by taking us into places we didn’t expect.
A few weeks ago I wrote about our new addition here at Love’s Farm~ Kypp the Australian Shepherd dog. It seemed like such an answer to prayer and so perfectly orchestrated by God. My daughter had been praying about a dog for years and God answered. We posted all the cute photos and were so excited to bring him into our family.
We knew it would be a transition but felt so strongly that God would guide us and lead us and work it all out since He was the one who had graciously given us this situation.
The first few days were up and down. Kypp came from a much different home environment than he had here so naturally, he would need to adjust from a family of 2 to a family of 6…and goats…and chickens…etc.
After the first few days, there continued to be more challenges. All the while I bounced from feeling like this was just too hard, to trusting God to make it work. I kept thinking I needed more faith, I needed to be stronger, I needed to trust more, I needed to know things weren’t always easy. I was continually beating myself up over not having enough faith.
I prayed fervently. And it seemed like every time I submitted to God that I would rest in His will and work through the difficulties, something worse would happen. It was all quite confusing.
Ultimately, as a family, we came to the difficult decision that our family was not the right family for Kypp. His owners graciously comforted us and took him back. They still need to find him a good home. And we trust that home is out there, and this was just a stepping stone to finding it. He is a very good dog and will be a wonderful addition to the right home.
While I am still processing all that happened, there were a few lessons I would like to share:
First, everything isn’t always ideal. In a world of visual glimpses into our lives, we may think all is perfect when behind the scenes there is a struggle. Each cozy and cute photo we shared was in a genuine moment! But there were also times of challenge. So remember, enjoy glimpses of peoples lives knowing they are a moment in time.
Second, God is teaching me that He DID answer our daughter’s prayer. For a while I thought we heard wrong, we stepped out of bounds, this wasn’t from God. But then I remembered, every single detail of our lives is orchestrated by God. He doesn’t make mistakes, and if we think that we have made one, then it is part of His plan to grow us. I remembered the time we took the RV trip that ended badly, even though we prayed fervently about it. Or the time that we bought a farm only to have it fall through. We were so confused until we found this house and it all made sense. God works through it all! And He DID answer our daughter’s prayer for a dog! It’s just that we didn’t have him for the amount of time we thought we would. But for two weeks, she finally had a dog and her prayer was absolutely answered. Who are we to determine the parameters in which He answers?
Third, expectations aren’t always what we planned. And that’s OK. We must be open to God’s results that may look very different from our hopes.
Fourth, I need to stop trying to figure God out. His ways are not my ways. Through every twist and turn is a lesson, but instead of trying to know the lesson ahead of time, sometimes we have to just walk through it and look back on it to see what He wants us to learn. We shouldn’t try to know what He is up to beforehand.
I am a work in progress. I have learned much the past few weeks and will continue until my last breath. This whole situation brought to surface so much work I need on myself, but because is God doing the “heart” work, I can rest knowing it is all good.
And finally, all of this has me even more inspired to start my new project- Simply Living for Him #No Filter. You see, I have struggled the past few weeks with various things personally. The dog situation just brought much of it to the surface. And I learned how very necessary it is to BE REAL. We all need a core group of women that we can share our ups and our downs. We need those moments to just drop the filters and say, “I am struggling.” I had women like that get me through recently. When I felt like I was in my darkest place, to just be able to send a text or look someone in the eye and say, “I’m struggling,” immediately dispelled the darkness and brought in the Light. Women praying with me and encouraging me was essential.
So, my next project is to see how to make this idea work in real life. The purpose is to foster REAL life relationships with women. Face to face. Eye to eye. Hand in hand. Sharing in the CELEBRATIONS of life together (without jealousy) and sharing in the STRUGGLES of life together. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
I am working out ideas for videos, online workshops, and real-life local events to get some of these groups going! Would you be interested? Let me know!
Finally, thank you to my dear readers for following along on this journey. I am a mere human trying to do my best to give glory to God in all things. I am grateful for your messages in the past few days. I love sharing glimpses of what God is doing here as we all try to simply live…for HIM!